


A Mutually Beneficial Con(tract)

by The_Procrastinator



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck
Genre: Contracts, Emotional Constipation, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:09:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Procrastinator/pseuds/The_Procrastinator
Summary: Lanque deals with his problems by hitting on them. Tagora isn't complaining. Now if only they would talk about their feelings.
Relationships: Lanque Bombyx/Tagora Gorjek
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. The Party

It started, as most things in Lanque’s life did, at a party. Not one he’d been invited to, of course. He didn’t even know the purpleblood (or was it indigo?) hosting it. That was part of the fun. After all, gatecrashing was far cooler than just being invited places. 

This particular party posed a fun challenge. They had someone on the door with a list, so the front door was out. The backdoor was in an enclosed garden with a fence in the way, which only left the sides of the hive. Fortunately, it wasn’t the first time Lanque had had to climb through a window. It wasn’t exactly dignified, but it got him inside. He didn’t even have to force one - a ground floor window was sitting nicely ajar. 

He was halfway through the window when the door opened and the night got a lot more interesting. Standing in the doorway was a very startled looking teal, though even as Lanque watched, his expression shifted into something altogether more conniving. He stepped the rest of the way into the room, quickly shutting and locking the door behind him. 

“Are you going to stay there all night or are you coming in? I believe we have a deal to make and I'm sure you'd rather be comfortable while we're making it. *_________”

Lanque stuttered for a second, very confused, shifting his weight slightly as he did so. Slightly too much, he realised, as he fell the couple of feet from the windowsill to the floor. He’d barely even hit the floor before he was jumping back to his feet, trying very hard to pretend nothing had happened and hoping this teal would take his cue.

Said teal was merely looking at him with a slightly raised eyebrow. Lanque rolled his eyes, brushing himself off a bit. As he did so, he took a second to assess the man in front of him. His fashion sense was… interesting, to say the least. A horseshoe cut waistcoat, a turtleneck, striped trousers… It wasn’t exactly something Lanque would wear. Not to mention whatever it was going on with his hair. It wasn’t exactly the worst outfit he’d ever seen but it was definitely making some sort of statement. He had yet to decide if the statement was good or not.

The sound of a throat being cleared pulled Lanque out of his slight mental tangent. The teal looked expectant, and Lanque realised he hadn’t actually replied yet. 

“Why Would I Want to make a deal With someone Who dresses like that? It's certainly a braVe choice.” Not the best insult, but in his defense, he had just fallen through a window. For the briefest of instants, Lanque thought he saw an emotion flicker across the man’s face, but it was gone before he could even register what it was. 

“Tagora Gorjek. The person who just saw you gatecrash this party. Nice to meet you. Now, would you like to make a deal, or am I going and getting the doorman? *_________” Internally, Lanque sighed. Clearly hostility wasn’t getting him out of this predicament. Maybe a change of tack was in order. 

“Well, When you put it like that... I'm Lanque Bombyx. What kind of payment are you Wanting in return for your silence?” He made sure to put enough emphasis on “payment” that nobody could mistake it for anything other than the sexual advance it was.

“I take cash, cheque or bank transfer. *_________”

Either Tagora was the most oblivious troll on Alternia, or he was being intentionally obtuse. Oh well, Lanque thought, I’ll just have to turn it up a notch. 

“I don’t haVe any money, but I’m sure We can come to an agreement on some sort of serVice I can proVide you.” This time, as he spoke, he reached out and ran his hand down Tagora’s arm. At this point, the sexual undertones had passed into just being tones. He couldn’t get much clearer without taking off clothes.

Tagora glanced down at the hand resting on him, but made no move to stop it. That was a good sign.

“Hmm. That really depends. Do you have any useful connections? *_________” Lanque was sure that he was being messed with. If Tagora wasn’t interested, he’d have rebelled against the touch. But if he did want to take Lanque up on it, why wasn’t he just saying so? For all he was flirting for his own benefit as much as Tagora’s, he really didn’t have a great deal else to offer.

“I’m cloistered. Almost eVeryone I knoW is a jade. We’re not meant to oWn much, either. I haVe nothing to offer but myself.” Much to Lanque’s surprise, Tagora’s eyes seemed to light up at this. Was he finally going to accept Lanque’s affection as payment? 

“If you’re cloistered, that means you’ll have access to some… very interesting restricted texts. I think we can come to an agreement here after all. *_________” Though it wasn’t exactly the reply he’d been expecting, Lanque was intrigued. That level of knowledge of the cloister wasn’t exactly common in other castes. If Tagora knew about that, he was probably looking for something very specific. 

“Are you asking me to commit a crime?” Lanque didn’t even bother pretending to be serious. “I’d be happy to. It’d piss Bronya off anyway. What are you looking for?”

“As a start, I want Fresh Teeth Vol. 1. I might want more of the series later but that will be sufficient for now. If you wait there for a moment, I’ll sort out the contract. *_________” At that, he pulled out a scroll and pencil and turned around to lean on a table, leaving Lanque just standing there. 

“You really don’t strike me as the sort of person that spends their time selling things on the black market, Which suggests that your interest in the book is more personal. Does somebody haVe a thing for rainboW drinkers?” Though he couldn’t see Tagora’s face, he heard the distinctive noise of pencil lead breaking.

“Personal questions cost extra, and you’re already having a hard time paying for my services. *_________” If the pencil noise hadn’t been a clear enough answer, his voice definitely was. Tagora definitely wanted to pail with a rainbow drinker. For all Lanque wasn’t actually one, he could have some fun with this. He moved to stand right behind Tagora, very barely avoiding touching him. 

“Is that Why you Were turning doWn my adVances? Not interested in pailing With an ordinary troll? Because I can do rainboW drinker roleplay.” Tagora let out a noise, his writing getting faster.

“Do I look like someone willing to accept sexual favours as payment? I’m offended.” He turned, holding out the contract to Lanque, along with a very expensive looking pen. He had to lean back to avoid pressing into him. “Sign on the marked lines. *_________” 

Lanque reached past Tagora to rest on the table, signing without reading despite the risks. There were far more interesting things than contract reading to do right now. 

“There. We’ve arranged your payment. Happy noW?” For the second time that night, Lanque brushed a hand down Tagora’s arm.

Tagora smiled. “Very. So, about those other offers you were making…?” At that, Tagora angled his head in a way that was very clearly a request for a kiss. Lanque leaned down, brushing their lips together softly. Tagora melted against him, all of the assertiveness draining out of him. Lanque pulled back, taking a moment to appreciate the visuals. He moved in again, aiming for an actual kiss this time.

There was a sudden thud and they jumped away from each other. The door was open, lock hanging broken, and a very irritated indigo was standing there. 

“What the fuck? I was told this was a prestigious party! No-one below cerulean. I’m going and complaining.” She turned and stormed off, leaving Lanque and Tagora staring at each other.

“Wait, you aren’t meant to be here either?”

Tagora just grinned and shrugged. 

“A contract is a contract. You signed, you owe me that book. Now, we should probably be leaving. I’m thinking your entrance route? *_________” He walked over to the window as he spoke, somehow managing to climb through it with dignity. Lanque followed, also smiling. This was by far the most enjoyable con he’d ever fallen victim to.


	2. Chapter 2

One of these days, Tyzias would learn to stop expecting Tagora to show up places on time. It was half an hour since he’d been meant to arrive and work on their current group project and she hadn’t even got a message saying he was running late. If it wasn’t so utterly characteristic of him, she’d be a bit concerned. As it stood, she was just tired of his shit.

Another half an hour had passed before Tagora finally arrived, by which point Tyzias was annoyed enough that she didn’t even bother acknowledging him. It was only when he spoke that she realised something was off. 

“ Hello, Tyzias! I’m sorry I’m late, but I brought you coffee. *_________  ”  He placed a cup in front of her and dropped down into his usual seat. He looked… chipper. It was actually disconcerting. For a second she considered the possibility that she was hallucinating, but quickly brushed that aside. She’d been awake for less than 2 days, hallucinations were a while off. 

Pushing the coffee back across the table, she took a sip from her mug. As soon as Tagora followed suit, she spoke.  “ you seemmmm… happy. wwwwho did you fuck this timmmme? ”  Tagora’s spit-take confirmed her (admittedly calculated) guess.  “ wwwwhat have i told you about running late because of hookups? ”  At that, Tagora evolved from coughing in to full on choking noises. 

“ Jegus, Tyzias. Why would you do that? ”  He was wiping himself clean with a monogrammed handkerchief. Honestly, how pretentious could he get? After a second, he managed to pull himself together a bit.  “ I haven’t pailed with anyone. *_________ ” 

Taking a second to look him over, Tyzias decided he was probably telling the truth, on some sort of technicality. He was like that.  “ mmmmaybe not, but you wwwwish you had. ”  With that, she switched her focus back to her work, tuning out Tagora’s obviously fake denials. 

He eventually settled into the work alongside her, mostly keeping quiet and just getting on with things. For all of five blissful minutes, that was. The obnoxious noise of a pen tapping incessantly told Tyzias he’d stopped working, and was very quickly making it hard for her to work either.  “ wwwwhat now? ” 

Tagora stopped tapping to focus on looking offended.  “ What do you mean? I’m perfectly fine. *_________ ” 

Tyzias sighed, put her pen down and grabbed her mug. She could already tell this was going to end with him talking for a while.  “ you’re distracted. i’mmmm betting you wwwwere thinking about wwwwhatever boy you wwwwere wwwwith again. ” 

Tagora’s ability to dramatically feign emotions was actually somewhat impressive. He was overacting his offense to an extent that wouldn’t have been out of place in one of Tegiri’s “Eastern Alternian Fine Animated Art” cartoons.  “ What are you talking about? I would do no such thing! I’m truly hurt you’d think that. ”  He broke off, smiling, and the act dropped.  “ You’re not going to believe me, are you? *_________ ” 

Tyzias gave him a  _ look _ . At some point or another, she’d perfected knowing and judging looks, and she absolutely used them to terrorise Tagora.  “ not even a little bit. wwwwhat actually happened? ”

“ Fine. Remember how I said I was stopping by that highblood party to look for clients? Well, I happened to come across a very interesting jade blood breaking in… ”

\---------

“ ... and he messaged while I was on my way here. He’s going to bring me the book next week. *_________ ”  Tagora leaned back in his seat, sipping from his now-cold cup of coffee. 

Tyzias sighed.  “ you are such a fucking simmmmp.  ”  For a second, she thought he was going to spit out his coffee again, but he managed to get it under control.  “ you wwwwere wwwwith himmmm for all of twwwwenty mmmminutes and you’re like this about himmmm? wwwwhen are you planning on introducing himmmm to your lusus?  ”  Tagora had apparently finally learned his lesson and stopped trying to drink while she was talking. 

“ It’s not like that. It’s just business with benefits.*_________  ” 

“ wwwwe both knowwww it’s not mmmme you’re trying to convince here. you just don’t wwwwant to admmmmit to yourself that you mmmmight being experiencing an emmmmotion.  ”  As she spoke, Tyzias moved her mug off of the tabletop. Right on cue, Tagora slumped down onto the table, throwing his hand down right where the mug had just been. Gog, she thought, could he be any more dramatic?

“ nowwww, i’mmmm going to go and refill mmmmy mmmmug and wwwwhen i get back wwwwe’re forgetting about this and getting back to wwwwork.  ”  With that, she stood and walked away. This was going to be the bane of her existence for a while, she could already tell. 

If she ended up having to meddle in his life to get some peace, she *was* going to charge him.

* * *

“▲i don’t care where you go but i don’t want to keep having to do your chores▼”  Lanque had been bothering Daraya all morning instead of doing his tasks and, as ever, Bronya was going to make it everyone else’s problem by having them sort it. Daraya didn’t exactly care, but it was pretty lame to have to do the extra work.

“ It’s not my fault Bronya’s got a stick in her nook. C’mon, just help me steal the book. ” Daraya sighed. She had no idea what the deal was with this book, but she was sick of Lanque harassing her about it. It definitely wasn’t that he was going to read it, but that wasn’t really her problem. She had chores to worry about. 

“ ▲i have to finish this. i don’t want to deal with bronya being a bitch.▼ ” From where he was perched on the windowsill, Lanque just rolled his eyes. 

“ Come on. Don’t you Want to do something to spite her? ” That, Daraya thought to herself, was a fair point. Anything that upset Bronya was automatically more fun. Besides, book theft was much cooler than doing chores.

“ ▲sure, whatever.▼ ”

\---------

Lanque’s plan apparently involved poking at the door to the restricted section of the cloister’s private bookhive with some random bookmark he’d found. Daraya wasn’t exactly convinced it was going to work. She’d seen him do this before, but that was with an actual solid card, and he’d already been there nearly twice as long as that time. 

“ ▲seriously, let’s just quit it already. we can just go lift the key off of bronya later.▼ ” Her sentence was punctuated with a click, and the door swung open. Typical. 

Lanque’s smile was almost painfully smug. “ See? What haVe I told you about giVing up so easily? ” She rolled her eyes. Ugh, did he have to be so insufferable? “ Come on. ” At that, he grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her through the door. Gog, she really wished he’d stop pulling her around like that. 

She’d never been inside of the restricted section before. It looked far more… normal than she’d expected. The shelves were just the same as those in the rest of the bookhive ,and the books didn’t really seem that special either. There were no locks holding things in place or anything. Apparently Bronya had thought the locking door would be good enough. 

Lanque was trying very hard to walk without a sound, an effort that was rendered entirely redundant by the noise of her boots. Maybe if he’d bothered warning her, she’d have been better dressed for committing crimes. 

“ []Why are we sneaking?[] ” a voice whispered from just behind her. Daraya turned, very startled- uh, unbothered by the sight of Wanshi following her. She glanced back to Lanque, who apparently hadn’t noticed anything. Oh well, she didn’t care to tell him they weren’t alone.

“ ▲don’t ask me, lanque is just like that.▼ ” Wanshi shrugged. Lanque really was kinda just like that, there wasn’t really anything to question there. 

Daraya leaned slightly cautiously against the bookcase, and watched as Lanque grabbed a book, turned, and jumped a solid foot in the air as he spotted Wanshi, who just waved. If she were to be properly honest with herself, she’d have to admit that it was pretty funny. As it was, she just snorted slightly. 

“ Wanshi, hoW did you get in here? ” He slipped the book behind his back, in a wildly unsuccessful attempt to conceal the tome.

The child just smiled. “ [] same as you, through the door. it’s not like it Was locked or something. []  ”

Daraya snorted indignantly again, rolling her eyes as she turned towards the doorway. " ▲can we go already or are you still not happy?▼ "

“ One second. I just Want to make sure Wanshi knoWs not to tell Bronya We Were here. ” Wanshi actually looked vaguely offended at that.

“ []Why Would i tell bronya anything? i’m no snitch. besides, then she might lock the door, and there are soldier purrbeast books in here! owo []  ” That was a little concerning. Daraya really didn’t want to know what a restricted Soldier Purrbeasts book looked like. Why was Wanshi reading those? 

“ That’s fine, then. Let’s go. ”


	3. Chapter 3

Asking Lanque to meet him at the bookhive had been a mistake. When he'd suggested it, Tagora had only been considering the convenience of exchanging the stolen book in a place where books live. Now, though, as he sat with Tyzias at their usual study table waiting, he was having regrets. Primarily, he was regretting letting Tyzias know what he was doing. Every time he glanced at the door, she gave him another of those (admittedly somewhat comforting) knowing looks.

His second big regret was organising the meeting later in the night. He'd been trying to give himself some extra time to work on his appearance beforehand, which he'd had. But even once he'd finished his full beauty routine and spent an hour picking out the right outfit, there was still far too long left until he would be seeing Lanque. 

The wait was agonising. He was oddly nervous, for reasons that had nothing to do with Lanque, and everything to do with the crime he was participating in. At least, that was what he told himself (and mostly, he believed it.)

For at least the tenth time that night, the sound of the door swinging open pulled him from his internal monologue. Through it, walked a very bored looking jadeblood girl who didn't seem to want to be there at all. Tagora sighed slightly in disappointment, before realising that she wasn't alone. 

Lanque looked just as impressive as he had at the party, and not much less dressed up - at most, a little bit less makeup. Clearly, he put that much effort into everyday. The only significant difference in what he was wearing was the addition of a shoulder bag. Good, he had the book.

It took a second for Lanque to spot him, brows furrowed slightly as he looked around the room. Tagora had the passing thought that he looked cute like that, but quickly brushed it aside. This was a business deal, not a date, and he wasn’t bothered by that at all. Lanque smiled when he spotted him, and grabbed his friend by the wrist to pull her over. She huffed but seemed to manage to keep herself fairly upright.

“Hey, sorry about bringing Daraya. Bronya is super into the buddy system, and I couldn’t be bothered to fight her.” Daraya waved a hand when she was mentioned, but didn’t bother looking up from the bit of floor she was kicking at. To Tagora’s surprise, Tyzias spoke before he had a chance to.

“wwwwell this is a surprise. didn’t expect to see you here, daraya.” Huh, they seemed to know each other. Tagora idly wondered to himself how and when that had happened. Tyzias had never really struck him as the social type. “i’mmmm not going to stay to wwwwatch this. wwwwant to join me?” Internally, he groaned. She knew he’d wanted her here to make this less uncomfortable. Not that he’d actually said that, but still. 

Daraya shrugged, seeming at least slightly more engaged in what was going on. “▲sure. i didn’t want to be here anyway.▼” Tyzias finished shuffling her paperwork into a pile, carefully balanced it all in her arms, and stood. 

She started to walk away, but turned as soon as she was out of Lanque’s sight, to mouth what was unmistakably “simp” at Tagora. Jegus, how many times would he have to tell her, this was business, and anything extra was just a little fun on the side. He didn’t have feelings for Lanque, she was just bullying him for the sake of it.

With Tyzias and Daraya gone, he could finally talk to Lanque in peace. “Hello, do sit down.” Tagora gestured to the chair opposite to him, but instead, Lanque sat right next to him. “Do you have the book? *_________”

Lanque rolled his eyes. “Skipping straight to the business, are We?” Though he sounded flippant, it was enough to make Tagora suspect that he was actually bothered by it. Time to reassess a bit, he thought, telling himself it was only to keep the business connection intact for the rest of the series. That was all, definitely. 

“No, I just wanted to check that you’d managed to get it. It is a restricted book, after all. How did that go for you? *_________” 

At that, Lanque smiled, leaning forwards a bit. “It Was really difficult. The security on those books is pretty tight. Actually, I think you should be paying me properly for this, considering hoW hard it Was to get.” Tagora felt a hand on his thigh, and for a moment, his brain short-circuited. Oh, wait, Lanque was trying to con more out of him for his book, he needed to think for this, not give in to sensation.

“That very much wasn’t the deal. I have the contact to prove it. I’m afraid you don’t get anything extra. *_________” Though, he thought to himself, there were certain extra things he wouldn’t mind giving. But that really wasn’t the point of this, at least not until he got his book. 

Lanque shrugged. “Well, it Was Worth a try. So, hoW are you?” As he spoke, his hand started to move on Tagora’s thigh, slowly up and down. He debated removing it from him, anxious about someone seeing. But logically,with where they were sitting, there was no real risk of anyone noticing, and really, he was enjoying it. 

The two made casual small talk for a while, with each taking the opportunity to rant about the more annoying bits of their lives. Lanque’s complaints about cloister life were especially interesting to Tagora - after all, it was rare to get to talk to someone living there. At some point, the hand moved off his thigh, but the conversation was engaging enough that he didn’t really notice.

As they talked, he relaxed, slowly switching out of business mode and settling into the socialising. Lanque was surprisingly enjoyable to talk to. It had been far too long since Tagora had spoken to anyone other than clients or the other teals, and it was a welcome change. Most of the company he kept was the reason he needed to rant, not the outlet for it. 

Eventually, after an unknown length of time, there was a lull in conversation. Tagora went to sip from his coffee, only to find it cold and very nearly empty. He glanced at his palmhusk, and realised that it was a little after his usual lunch hour. Wow, it was actually impressive how quickly time had passed while he was talking to Lanque.

“As much as I’ve enjoyed this, I’d quite like my book now. You are contractually obliged, after all. *_________” His tone was light, and Lanque smiled slightly as he dropped his bag onto the table. He pulled a few things out; a makeup bag, a brown paper bag and- there, his book. Trying not to seem too desperate, he waited patiently for Lanque to hand it to him. 

The book was in almost every regard, a fairly normal paperback, though paper was generally considered outdated in Alternian society. The cover, however, revealed its nature. On it, was a pair of rainbow drinkers, one biting into each side of some rustblood’s neck. Of course, they were all shirtless, and blood was running down their uncovered chests. There was no possible way to see this book as anything other than erotica, even if you didn’t recognise the title. He leafed through it, checking it seemed intact. It all seemed good. Other than the fact that it was only the first volume.

He shuffled it into his bag and looked back to Lanque, who was smirking at him with a raised eyebrow. He was definitely blushing. “So, what do I need to give you to get the next one? *_________” There, now the focus was off of him.

Lanque paused, taking the time to think before speaking. “I honestly don’t knoW. I’m not sure What you haVe that I’d Want.” Hmm. Tagora didn’t really know what he could offer either, but not getting the next book was completely off the table. 

“How about we get lunch while you think? Contracts are best organised in person, and I’d really like to get this sorted. *_________” Not sounding desperate. He was focussing on not sounding desperate. 

Much to Tagora’s surprise, Lanque dropped back into his seat and rubbed at his eyes. “I already haVe lunch.” At that, he gestured at the paper bag still on the table. “Bronya insisted on me taking this.” Tagora grabbed it and looked inside. Two grubwiches, an apple and a juice-box. That really was a miserable lunch. 

Oh, that gave him an idea. “How about this then - if I take you to lunch and get you something actually edible, you’ll get me the next in the series? *_________” He was lowballing Lanque and he knew it, but maybe, just maybe-

“Sure. It’s not really like you haVe anything else I Want and I really, really hate Bronya’s grubWiches.” Lanque was smiling, and Tagora smiled back. For the first time, he started to consider the possibility that Tyzias had a point, but quickly quashed that thought. Even if she did, and he did have an interest in Lanque beyond the physical level, it wouldn’t be welcome. Lanque was far too cool for that. 

Tagora stool, grabbing his bag and holding a hand out towards Lanque. “Well then, shall we? *_________” Lanque took his hand to pull himself up and Tagora had to fight not to melt into it a little.

“Alright, Where are We going?”


End file.
